Some of you obviously do this a lot, but that is not my problem 1. Now, before I go further, I want to emphasise here that this is not a post about celebrating your "twenty-second" birthday when you are now becoming death's neighbour, no. This is about reflecting on the past year and the future that a lot of people do when the day they came out of their mother's stomach comes around.
Some time back, I turned thirty years old which, again, is neither here nor there but some flame within me kindled and I wanted to write about it. Here are my thoughts.
When you turn thirty, you get the general sense that you are approximately halfway between life and death provided a train does not fall out of the sky and kill you. There is also an implication of you being halfway doing the things you would naturally do - getting born, circumcised, getting a job, marrying, having kids, circumcising them, taking them to school, watching them getting jobs, marrying, having kids, taking them to school then lastly you dying. Hopefully.
These are the things I am reflecting back on now that I am thirty. If you look in the preceding paragraph, there is a repeating element: sex.
When I was a little kid in primary school - and I am sure this is still the case nowadays, it was a taboo to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. In fact, if you were caught fraternising with them, you were liable for a proper beating. Regardless, I got one of the most beautiful girls on the planet and we managed to roo-beatings-ooooll until when I finished high school and discovered kumbe the girl had another boyfriend but I really didn't care. I could sincerely say she had been mine. That specific one. She was fire. Damn! Still is.2
When I went to university, I (all of us) was seated down by my father who sternly said, "I do not want someone bringing children to my house. If you do so, I will beat you fists." He is a strong Gusii man and I know what Gusii men can do. We obeyed.
A few years later, he said something to the same effect but with the added caveat that now, instead of seeing us war, he would love his grandchildren and call us idiots. Fair enough.
After campus and now that I have a job somewhere, the story appears to have reached stage three for me since now everyone, and not only my dad, seems to want me to marry and have children.
That is my reflection for turning thirty years old.
Now, what I do not understand is this, why does no older man I know tell me to invest, or save, or explore - whatever - things that will put me in a better position? Is it because they are miserable and want some company? I know one reason based on the tradition of my ancestors which makes sense but I do not give a shit about.
I have several objections to bringing a woman to live under my roof but no man who is married cares about them. I do not know if they are hiding their desire to be single, are brainwashed, comfortable or something else entirely and that is none of my business for now. I might want to sire some kids someday or have already done, because who does not want to see their DNA running around in the world, in God's bright sunshine, doing things?
I might take a turn at this stage and bypass the step of marrying completely. Maybe I will do it when I am old. It is a good thing a man's hoe does not refuse to dig the garden when it is old.