How To Enjoy Watching Football

If you find watching football tedious and boring like I do, this post is for you.

This is assuming that, at the very least, you understand the rules of the game and/or have played it or enjoy playing it.

The trick is simple: every time you watch a game being played, pick a team and root for it to win.

You can pick it using any criterion, such as jersey colour, nationality, playing style or the presence of a particular player.

After you choose the team, become a sofaset commentator, analysing their playing styles, psychological condition, physicality, speed and any other metric that interests you. Watch the game as if you are playing it yourself and engage your mind.

By doing this, you give the game breath and it comes alive in your mind. You will enjoy the game, and regardless of who wins, you will experience satisfaction.

Notes

Do not do the following:

1. Bet on the game. While this may make you hyperfocused on the gameplay and may help you to hone your analytical skills, it will stress you unnecessarily because now your team is likely to diarrhoea your bet. You will spend ninety to one hundred and sixty minutes of your life tightening your anus instead of enjoying yourself.
2. Watch a game you do not care about. Let the coaches do this because they are paid to do it anyway.

This trick also applies to other games, but it is important that you first understand the rules. You can ask questions about the rules of the game during the match, but you are more likely than not to annoy someone. If you do it deliberately to annoy someone, fuck you.