Two snot-faced little kids were playing outside the plot where one of them lived. There was a tarmac road running in front of this compound, past a few compounds and then the other kid's plot was at a junction where this road passed. This road sloped gently from East to West and finally turned towards the south.
On the other side of the road was a huge factory that made wood products and between that and the road ran a new ditch. There was no other ditch besides this one.
This ditch was so new that kanjo (that's who we thought) had hired a man whose work was to beat people who tried to jump or dump stuff into it, but who are Kenyans? They always waited until he had gone for lunch or a shit then engaged in mischief.
One notable feature of this ditch, however, was its depth which was shallower towards the East than westward where the tarmac road turned ninety degrees left and went about its business. Its depth gradually increased from half a foot at the beginning to about five feet at its end. Getting caught while at this end guaranteed the catchee a proper whipping, so any excursion to this place was always accompanied by adrenaline, fear and tension.
This particular sunny afternoon, the younger of the two kids suddenly said, "I am pressed bana! I want to poop."
All of a sudden, the older boy felt the same thing so he said, "Yeah, me too. Let us go poop somewhere."
Where did they choose to poop? The ditch, and not just anywhere inside it; they chose the deep end.
This ditch was new, so people had not started dumping things and shitting inside it. I can guarantee you those boys were the first ones out on a dumping excursion there.
Since these boys were pressed, they rushed into the ditch but as they did so, the older one could not help but wonder, "Si our toilets are close? We can use my friend's pit latrines or I can just rush home and sit on the throne." but the decision had already been made. The boys were in the ditch.
When they reached a sufficiently deep section, the kids let down their trousers, but the older boy still had doubts about the enterprise.
However, the younger boy could bear the pressure no longer and he squatted faster than the watchman could swing his whip.
The older boy had finally started to squat just as the younger boy shot up into the air with a howl of pain.
That was enough to convince the older boy's shit to stay inside. He pulled up his trouser and prepared to bolt before the whip man heard them and appeared.
The younger boy turned his little brown buttocks toward the older boy and asked him to see what was up.
He had had planted his right buttock right on top of a four-inch nail which was pointed upwards. It wasted no time in leaving a neat little round red hole where once was whole wheat glute meat. The boy had achieved the impossible: he had grown a second anus.